My Journal and Diary
2014
August DecemberDecember
Wednesday, December 31st, 2014
A Few Items of Praise, and Update
Wow! Three ServiceBuilder purchases today! I am really hoping they're not just kicking the tires, but will actually be active users who stay signed up.
I started to work on the store portion of VillagOfBath.com yesterday. It's funny how I get discouraged (or lose passion, anyway), about that Web site.
Right now I'm sitting at Revelle's, waiting for them to finish our car emission test and oil change. I just had my license and health card renewed at Verona's service Ontario, and when we're done here, I'll have to go back again to get the license plates renewed. It's an expensive day!
Yesterday Joanne took the kids to the YMCA to swim, and for Rosie to use her Orange Julius card.
August
Monday, August 11th, 2014
Testing, Testing, Is This Thing On? Is Anybody There?
I decided to finally journal. I've been intentionally ignoring it for months now, because I've been in a depression. I almost said deep depression, but I don't know how deep it is really. But it's kind of bad. There are so many things that have me down, and I guess I apply my typical obsessive personality to it. The cholesterol spot on my eye, the tooth pain, the lack of income, the lack of rain--it's been two months without much rain! I'm losing my faith, I'm losing my hope, I'm tired and sore, and down. No one comes to the church anymore, I can't afford to do the things I've been waiting all winter to do, like get a trailer hitch, fix up the trailer, go camping, paint, fix, do. I don't understand why it's all at once.
It's times like this when all I have is the desire to call out to God and hope that he hears me somewhere. I have friends who are sort of there once in a while. Even the lack of faith of my own son Lucas, gets me down. I have so little reason to be happy, I just feel like crying.
Ultimately, this is mostly tied to money. Money would mean I could afford to get my tooth fixed, I could pay off my debt, I could get the hitch done, I could take the kids camping, I could...
Lord help me!