Jason Silver

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2025

Trying to Control the Uncontrollable

A number of weeks ago my wife Joanne told me that she's listening an audio book on the Book of Ecclesiastes. I was curious about this book, partly because Ecclesiastes may be my favourite book in the Bible, but also because of some of the things she said she had been learning.

Yesterday, I decided to take a break from work, and sat on a lawn chair outside in the sun. It happened that she was sitting nearby, also enjoying the lovely day, and listening to a few chapters. The person reading the book spoke with a compelling Irish accent, and I couldn't help but listen too, and I was really moved by the things he had to say.

A number of his insights touched on a recurring sin in my life, namely, trying to control everything around me. I hadn't typically looked on this behaviour as a negative, but he framed it in such a way such that I was given a glimpse into what might be my core motivation: to think of myself as God. It made me think of the first sin in the Garden of Eden: "you shall me like gods!"

I need to relisten, and I need to think more about it. I don't want to say too much yet, because I don't think I understand it all, but I wanted to write it down so I didn't forget.