~Jason

~Jason

Do you know how many churches I’ve worked for? Since graduating from college I’ve worked at Lakeview, Westgate, Meadowbrook, Butternut Creek, and now Philpott. Altogether it’s been 15 years of ministry since 1990. It’s been Saskatoon, New Jersey, Kingston, and Hamilton.

So why brood?

Because the majority of those (rather large) churches had lots of people, most of whom I never talk to. I mourn all those severed relationships. I wish there was some way to stay better connected with people. I feel like little parts of me have splintered off throughout my 36 years and now I’m mostly alone with broken shards for a heart.

Of course, my family brings me great joy. And the church I’m in now is wonderful. I’ve never loved people like I love the people I know now.

This started because I’ve been trying to sort my address book and I’ve been attempting to delete duplicate names; names that I haven’t even thought about in ten years.

I’m not considering the people I knew from elementary school, high school, and college; nor all those jobs I’ve had… OK, I guess I am considering all that too.

What’s really weird is that if I picked up the phone and called a few of these people, it would be really awkward. We wouldn’t know what to say. We’d talk about kids, weather, maybe catch up with news and history… but these were the people I laughed with. I sat on their decks. I ate their steak. They watched my TV. We fished. We grabbed lunch. We got vulnerable. We shared vacation. We got each other Christmas gifts. I saw their kids fail. Or succeed. They saw me yell… or cry.

Loosing all those people— it’s just not right. It’s not organic. It’s not natural. But I doubt I’ll do anything to change it.

I’m just gonna brood. And I wish I could go back, but I can’t.

~Jason

THE ACHIEVER
Enneagram Type Three

The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type:
Adaptable, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious

Basic Fear: Of being worthless
Basic Desire: To feel valuable and worthwhile

Healthy: Self-assured, energetic, and competent with high self-esteem: they believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious. / Ambitious to improve themselves, to be “the best they can be” — often become outstanding, a human ideal, embodying widely admired cultural qualities. Highly effective: others are motivated to be like them in some positive way. At Their Best: Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be. Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent.

Average: Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare self with others in search for status and success. Become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity and being the “best.” / Become image-conscious, highly concerned with how they are perceived. Begin to package themselves according to the expectations of others and what they need to do to be successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but also premeditated, losing touch with their own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems with intimacy, credibility, and “phoniness” emerge. / Want to impress others with their superiority: constantly promoting themselves, making themselves sound better than they really are. Narcissistic, with grandiose, inflated notions about themselves and their talents. Exhibitionistic and seductive, as if saying “Look at me!” Arrogance and contempt for others is a defense against feeling jealous of others and their success.

Unhealthy: Fearing failure and humiliation, they can be exploitative and opportunistic, covetous of the success of others, and willing to do “whatever it takes” to preserve the illusion of their superiority. / Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others / Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others’ happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic, murder. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Key Motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.

Examples: Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Jane Pauley, Michael Landon, Tony Robbins, Tom Cruise, Barbra Streisand, Sharon Stone, Madonna, Shirley MacLaine, Sting, Paul McCartney, Dick Clark, Whitney Houston, Ted Danson, Micheal Jordan, Shania Twain, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarznegger, Billy Dee Williams, Kathy Lee Gifford, Truman Capote, and O.J. Simpson.

Finished this year:

• Tim Keller: Ministries of Mercy- The Call of the Jericho Road (I really enjoyed, and was changed by this book. It’s a little slow going though)
• John Steinbeck: Tortilla Flat (Timeless, a little slow)
• Franky Schaeffer: Addicted to Mediocrity (Pretty good)
• The Entire Bible (Doing this was amazing! I learned an awful lot)
• Arthur C. Clarke: Rama II (Loved it. This is an excellent read. Rating: 9/10)
• Robert Lewis: The Church of Irresistable Influence (Really Good. Highly recommend.)
• Gary Nelson: He Who Has Ears to Hear - The Galcom Story(This contains many amazing stories regarding the spreading of the Gospel to unreached people via radio stations and fixed tune radios. It was inspiring, yet a slow read. I found myself skipping paragraphs. Rating: 4/10)
• Orson Scott Card: Ender’s Game (Maybe the BEST book I’ve EVER read. Really. I’m in love with Ender’s Game. Finished it May 8. Rating: 10/10).
• Colin Dexter: The Wench is Dead - an Inspector Morse Mystery (Excellent- recommend Rating: 8/10)
• Donald Miller: Blue Like Jazz (I really loved this book. I started it last night at Lucas’ baseball practice, and finished it this morning (May 11). Easy read, and definitely worth it. Amy, you’ll love it. Rating: 9/10)
• Steve Sjogren: Seeing Beyond Church Walls - Action Plans for Touching Your Community (Each chapter a different writer— makes for an awkward experience. Rating: 2/10)
• Life of Pi (Part 1 is a little slow starting, Part 2 is a page-turner. Just skip part 3. Rating: 8/10)
• Adams: The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (This is actually kind of funny, not your typical sci-fi genre… but the plot is weak, and it seems to end in the middle. 7/10)

Some of these are ebooks, which I have for Microsoft Reader. Ask me.

~Jason

It’s called “AlbumAdvanced” and you can click here to see it in action.

WARNING: Doing so will also expose you to my beautiful children. Jealousy may ensue.

I took out a bunch of useless features and streamlined it to make it smarter and easier to use. I’m not done… I plan to add an RSS feed to it, as well as an automatic ‘picture of the day’ feature. I’m also going to make it easier to login, upload new photos, and manage the administration features… but that’s for next time.

~Jason

And this is the most amazing poem: Male grief. It captures my feelings exactly.

Why is it men sometimes sit on a dark porch and brood?
This dark sadness is not unfamiliar to women,
but men seem especially prone to it.
Some call it Grief.

Why do men grieve?

They grieve lost dreams
Man is a dreamer.
He sees what’s not there,
what could be.
He wants to invent. Explore. Discover.

Young men especially.

They dream of the future.
Seeing great visions.
A life full of opportunities.

The young man can become a great athlete,
start his own business,
raise three fine sons,
buy a ranch in Wyoming,
sail around the world
in a handmade sailboat.

Most men hide their dreams from others.

There’s more.

And I’ve done lots to be proud of… I do own my own business. I have fame. I have two fine sons. Still I sit on my porch and brood. Nothing is ever enough.

I’m alone. There are no relations above me, only below.

~Jason

• Five favourite foods (they would be replenished when they ran out and they’re kicking in the staples (meat, bread, dairy and veggies)
• Five favourite articles of clothing
• Five movies
• Five CD’s
• Five books

Here’s my list:

Foods: Hamburgers, spagetti, pizza, almost any breakfast cereal, eggs

Clothing: Who needs ‘em? I’m alone, right? A pair of sweat pants, two tee shirts, a sweat shirt, and a ball cap.

Movies: Movies that generate thinking: Lord of the Rings, Twelve Monkies, Memento, Waking Ned Devine, The Passion of the Christ

CDs’: I think something I won’t get sick of, so something I could learn from. Maybe the top ‘best of’ recordings of Mozart, Beethoven, Sting, U2, and Blood, Sweat and Tears.

Books: Again, these have to be books worth re-reading, since a year is a long time, so The Bible (Message version), The Purpose Driven Life, When I Don’t Desire God, God’s Passion for His Glory, and Ulysses.

~Jason 

The ideology of the Left believes big government and social reform will solve social ills, while the Right believes big business and economic growth will do it. The Left expects a citizen to be held legally accountable for the use of his wealth, but totally autonomous in other areas, such as sexual morality. The right expects a citizen to be held legally accountable in areas of personal morality, but totally autonomous in the use of wealth. The North American “idol”—radical individualism—lies beneath both idealogies. A Christian sees either “solution” as fundamentally humanistic and simplistic.

The causes of our worsening social problems are far more complex than either the secularists of the Right or Left understand. We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with powers and principalities! We have seen there is great social injustice— racial prejudice, greed, avarice— by those with the greatest wealth in the country (and sadly, within the evangelical church itself). At the same time, there is a general breadown of order— of the family and the morals of the nation. There is more premarital sex (and thus there are more unwed mothers), more divorce, child neglect and abuse, more crime. Neither a simple redistribution of wealth nor simple economic growth and prosperity can mend broken familes; nor can they turn low-skilled mothers into engineers or technicians.

Only the ministry of the church of Jesus Christ, and the millions of “mini-churches” (Christian  homes) through the country can attack the roots of social problems. Only the church can minister to the whole person. Only the gospel understands that sin has ruined us both inidividually and socially. We cannot be viewed inidividualistically (as the capitalists do) or collectivistically (as the Communists do) but as related to God. Only Christians, armed with the Word and Spirit, planning and working to spread the kingdom and righteousness of Christ, can transform a nation as well as a neighborhood as well as a broken heart. That is what the rest of this book is about.

We’re doing this book, Ministries of Mercy, for our next church effort, which we’ve entitled “Forty Days of Mercy.”

I’m excited to see us reach out to the poor as a church— to make a difference (which by the way, turns out to be more for our own health and spiritual neediness than for the health and physical neediness of the poor!)

~Jason

~Jason

Because our parents both live so far away (mine are 5 hours away, Joanne’s are 50!), we can’t always find people interested in taking our kids for a night.

But this last weekend was heavenly. Amy took our two boys, and the Wilsons and Mary Harvey shared taking wee Grace.

Wow. We started with a fancy meal at an expensive restaurant, then enjoyed the Busker Festival in Dundas. Then Saturday morning we slept in, ate a hearty (and quiet) breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee… then got on our bikes and did some sailing— of the garage variety.

It was just so great. I wish our parents were closer. But thank God for our Christian family!

~Jason

One of the new features is an interactive video wizard which walks through the essentials of using ServiceBuilder in 12 easy steps.

Visit www.servicebuilder.net/download.shtml to obtain the new version.

If you store your data file at the root of your hard drive (eg: Csb_data.mdb) then be sure to back it up, as this installation will replace your data file. You should move your data file to a network drive, and relink it to the front-end.

~Jason